My Ride to Never Never Land

Location: Koh Phangan Island, Thailand

Adventure of the Day: A three-hour moto drive across around the north of the island

Staying up until 5 A.M. is absolutely fantastic, provided you can sleep in. Which is exactly what I was able to do on this fantastic little vacation in the southern Gulf of Thailand.

We're here on Koh Phangan to experience the Full Moon party. It's a wild multi-night extravaganza of neon florescence, music, fun, and what I'll diplomatically term "perception enhancers." I had a blast just people watching. For example, most of the South American and European foreigners when confronted by my declining of their advances just talked about how beautiful I was. Some Americans? I was "gay."

That's not to say there weren't some great Americans I met. The guys on the train, for example. We ran into Sam, Spencer, and Mike at the beach. Then there was guy from California who spotted my Santa Monica tank and came over to chat. He's on the beginning of a two-year world tour using the money he had saved up before his fiancee up and left him.

So that was Tuesday night (aka Wednesday morning) and because my schedule is blissfully of my own making I was able to while away the hours after waking up at 11 A.M. reading, sitting in the sun, and going for a beach walk.

Hannah on the back of David's moto.

But who really wants to do absolutely nothing all day? So by 2:30 I'd figured out I wanted so see a bit of the island. With Kate and Hayley we waited and eventually the woman who runs Smile Travel arranged for her son and two of his friends to be our motobike drivers for a three hour tour.

We went through the middle of the island. Well, rather the middle top third of the island on a road that passes Baan Madua Wan and made our way to Ao Chaloklum beach. Halfway up the road we asked our drivers to stop at Phangan Homemade Ice Cream, which we'd seen on the map by saying "I Dtim," which means ice cream in Thai.

Me at Ao Chaloklum.

When we arrived at Ao Chaloklum the sand was super fine, the view gorgeous, and we met up with Joe, David, and Hannah on their motos! Oh, to rent a moto or not to rent a moto — that is the question. Financially smarter to rent. For Joe, David, and Meghan it was 150 B (that's Baht) for 24 hours, plus whatever gas it needed. Whereas I paid my driver 700 B for three hours. But there's something to be said for being able to watch the scenery and take photos while P did all the work. Although I probably would have been wearing a helmet if I'd rented my own. 

A shot that does the view no justice.

Anywho, after about an hour along the Chaloklum we set off again. On the main road there were some beautiful views as we rounded curves and topped hills, but when our guides took us on a detour on a road winding through the northwestern corner of the island it was even more spectacular. With each successive rollercoaster-like rise, I felt like P was Peter Pan and I was Wendy, being flown into the lagoon-studded Never Never Land. I don't exactly what we passed, but it must have been Ao Haad Yao, Haad Salad, and Ao Mea Haad. We also passed by tons of "for sale" signs on property. If only.

Hayley on a moto, and the Utopia sign.

There was also a resort type place called Utopia. Which I had to take a passing over-the-shoulder shot of, seeing as I've finally been able to read Thomas More's Utopia on the island. A rather fitting book for the location.

Our drivers. P is in the green shirt.

Our last stop was most definitely the best. We left the hills behind and got to a much flatter section of the island where the road hugs the coast. It was also clear that the sunset would be beautiful. So Kate's driver hollered something in Thai to the other two guys, and they then asked us if we wanted to stop. As if they needed to ask. We said OK, "Chai," and they pulled over to the Freeway bar and tattoo parlor.

Kate and Hayley and Freeway.

Freeway is probably one of the hippiest places I've ever seen. And I went to school in Ithaca for four years. Lots of cool wooden accessories and furniture, pads to sit on right on the beach, hammocks, guys in dreadlocks, the works. The woman at the bar was super nice, and it was happy hour to boot!

Bue. Ti. Full.

Definitely the coolest thing about the place is the view. It was 5:30 and the sun was setting over the completely low tide. That meant there was about a 100 yard stretch of flat sand, covered in tiny cone-shaped shells and only an inch of water.

El Toro.

Then we spotted one of the most hilarious things I've seen in a while: a man running around out on the sand with a bull on a leash. With the thin layer of water making it look like they were walking on water, Jesus-style. Of course I had to go out and ask what that was all about. The man said that he does bull fighting, so he exercises his bull out on the sand.

Soon we had to go, and after flying through Thongsala past the pier we arrived at, we were back at our little portion of Baan Tai road. Incredibly thankful for the fabulous trip, we "Korb khun, ka"-ed* profusely.

All in all, a good day. And even better, it led to a productive night of writing for several hours in the warm sea-side breeze under a lightning-bolt of inspiration.

* Thai is so different from trying to learn English. They don't use our western alphabet, so any spelling of a word or phrase in our alphabet is completely phonetic and subjective. The first time someone told me the phrase meaning "Thank you" I thought it was "Ka poon, ka."**

** Also, that "ka" you end the sentence with is only if you are a girl. You end a sentence with "krab/kab" if you're a guy. It's essential meaning is, "I am a woman/man saying this sentence." I don't know what the point of it is. Maybe to distinguish the lady boys?